Unicorn Adventures: Second Star on the Right...

A lot has happened since our last blog post, the day we were listed in May of 2018! We truly have done a lot of hurry up and wait since then. After the hurry up to get to surgery and the very important wait of recovery, we are ready for the next steps of our journey.

July 16th marks a very crucial milestone for us. Not only is it the six month anniversary date with this sweet unicorn, but we are also able to try for our first frozen embryo transfer!

Here is my daily routine, with new added fertility meds.

Wow, talk about emotions. The first thing I think of is my donor. I like to picture her and my mom with me every step of the way. It goes without saying that a moment doesn't go by when I don't think of her family and what each anniversary date is like for them. I also keep all my soul sisters in mind who are waiting, who it has worked for, the ones that unfortunately it hasn't worked for, and the toughies still trying. If you wouldn't mind keeping all of them and my donors family in your thoughts, I would really appreciate that.

Holy Wow, where did the time go? Of course that is mixed with, "Come on, can this work right away so I can go home to see John? PLEEEEASSSEEE let me go home soon!" All and all, John and I have been coping pretty well about being apart for so long. I think military life, even with as easy as we have had it, prepared us well for this long stint. Having said that, sweet unicorn's anniversary date also means that John is going to get to come for the transfer. Oh, I can't wait to see my husband. I am ecstatic to do the slow motion jump into his arms when I see him. I already know it won't be as graceful as I imagine and I couldn't care in the slightest.

First pills for transfer!!!!! Click play for full effect.

So...Some important details:

We are playing around with better ways to communicate details. We are looking into fun, fresh ideas. All while trying to find ways to give us flexibility. That is why we are back to the good old days of blogs to see how well it works for this. We want to continue sharing as many details as we can and letting the vulnerable nature of the next steps have a place a bit more private. We also want to give those who are sensitive to all of the milestones, a way to scroll on by on those days that are just too hard. All my infertility homies know what I'm saying here. If you don't, consider yourself lucky to never have experienced baby and baby bump triggers. They can be a lot to work through. Those who are experiencing that, while reading this, I love you, I get you and I'm here for you.

Ya'll ready for the fun part! Our transfer is tentatively scheduled for July 23rd, 27th or 29th! We would like you to sport your unicorns on our transfer day! Unfortunately, we don't have time to do a second t-shirt fundraiser. I'm sorry to the kiddos that we didn't think to offer their sizes for during the first round. Just wear or pull out whatever unicorn pride you've got! Please send your photos. You can FB, PM, Insta, email or whatever. Just send them. Please also let us know if we may use your photo or not? We want to make sure you are comfortable, so if you want your photo for our eyes only, no problem! Just let us know.

Here is an important part. We have decided that as open as we have been, we would respectfully ask for silent support during the next little while. Rather than any questions about how our transfer went, we would prefer finding ways to let us know that you are thinking of us, praying for us, sending your love, embracing with your hugs and of course sporting your unicorn gear. Pretty much anything that lets us know you are thinking of us, without asking detailed questions. "Why" do you ask? Well, because I've been a part of infertility communities for over ten years. I've watched those who have all the support in the world and those who choose to remain more private. I personally have been both of those people, from so private that I didn't let anyone in (I know, surprising now, right!), then letting the floodgates of support pour open. Both have their advantages. Both can be challenging at times. So we would like flexibility. We are hoping for the full experience here. You know, the one where there is hopefully a pregnancy and you get to wait until 12 weeks or so until it feels safe and exciting to share the big news? We want that. I know I sure do. The IVF journey does not come with much "normalcy", then amplify that times a trillion with the unicorn journey. Normal is not what we are hoping for, but sharing some exciting news at the perfect time, is. The opposite outcome, when transfers don't work (which actually happens a lot), they are excruciating to explain why they didn't work . I know what an adoption that didn't work feels like and I understand what tough retrievals are like. Anything of the nature somehow feels like a reflection on those going through it. It takes time to process. It is a loss and it comes with it's own grief. I know enough about grief and the way I process it, that giving myself an out to process it the way I need to will be very important for me. Even as important is giving John and I the intimate space to be excited with that special time if it does work or the time to fall into each other if it doesn't. I know it's an odd thing to ask you to keep supporting us, without asking questions. A hard thing, even. But I have seen this be a very healthy way to navigate this journey. Every time you get the desire to ask us how things are going, just tell us you love us instead. If we choose to tell you on our own, feel free to ask questions then. Just please wait to share the excitement or heartbreak with anyone until we do. Knowing us, we will likely share many of details along the way. So, we appreciate you for going along on this crazy cool ride, regardless of how quickly we share details.

Remember, awkwardness is okay. We expect it with this journey. I know sometimes it is really hard to figure out what to say and that's typically when the difficult to answer questions come. Just remember silence is fine. If it gets too awkward, just shout out, "Unicorn!" We will all have a loving chuckle! And support is okay, too! It's okay to say the wrong thing. We know we sure have in the past. We have grace and understanding. Please don't stop supporting us because of this little time of loving silence.

Oh and do keep those unicorn photos of yourself, memes, objects and whatever else unicorn you think of, coming! You have no idea how fun this unicorn thing has become and how much hope it gives us. The most incredible part is that it gives us a visual representation of how much support we have. Do you know how cool that is? We have been blessed to find out what we mean to people cheering us on and how much you all mean to us. Please continue being our cheerleaders, even when we are taking a silent break to see what happens.

We love you all! Cheers!